Terrible Toyshop is the Worst
...and we'd be more than happy to kick you in the shin to prove it. Or check out our selection of deviant, painful toys and find out for yourself.
Terrible Toyshop was born in a kinky maker space in Toronto and grew up on Etsy. Our mission is to torture the internet with our unique sadistic inventions, as well as remixes of classic kinky toys to satisfy all your freaky pleasures. Stay tuned for new additions to the collection so you can lustily stuff your (toy) box full of our awful products. If somebody doesn’t regret your choice, we’re not doing our job.
Sorry, not sorry. 😉
In March of 2019, Terrible Greg set out to spread a unique brand of awfulness across the internet.
In late-March of 2019, “TerribleToyshop” began as a blithely ironic handle for a kinky Etsy shop. With its iconic Ballgag Bear logo in full effect, the shop opened with two products on display: Nipple Traps and the Pussy Trap, soon joined by Terrible Toyshop’s iconic Clit Tenderizer and the Original Snapper. From these humble beginnings, we work hard every day to fulfill Terrible Toyshop’s destiny as a singular and bizarre cult classic toymaker for the filthiest yet most discerning pervs.
Along the way, we did some really cool things and a lot of really boring stuff. In a nutshell, Terrible Toyshop is: kink positive, a well oiled machine, shipping orders every business day, trademarked, body positive, probably running more than a dozen 3D printers as you read this, LGBTQ2S+ positive, featured in the media and/or porn (often one and the same, depending on your perspective), vaguely Canadian (sorry!), a philanthropist, and generally of sunny disposition after two cups of coffee and/or 1:00pm EST.
It all starts with a pair of digital calipers, a handful of nuts and bolts, and far too many 3D printers…
Everything we make starts as a terrible idea. One of our most productive approaches to the creative process is to envision the use of everyday objects to nefarious ends. You know what the world needs? A meat tenderizer for your clit; salad tongs for your balls; bear traps for your tits!
Once we’ve decided to move forward with an idea, we do research about typical sizes of the target anatomy, and prototype any mechanical parts we’ll need to bring the product to life. Once we have decided on dimensions and know how the parts all fit together, we start making a series of prototypes until we reach a finished, purchasable product.
Of course, the process doesn’t stop there – every item and colour variation needs to be captured in a series of painstakingly edited product photographs, which will eventually be accompanied by product descriptions and, depending on the complexity of the product, a user manual.
After two years of compulsive innovation, Terrible Toyshop has accumulated an intimidating catalogue of awful toys.
As we grow our selection of products, we focus on finding quirky and interesting needs you didn’t know you had. 3D printing makes it possible for us to produce our wares in small batches, so we can bring cool niche ideas to market without making a huge, risky investment in inventory. As a result, we are able to focus our attention on innovative new products without worrying about the consequences if they don’t actually sell.
We have our share of hits and misses, but as a whole, our customers are clear that we’re on the right track. We may not be selling every product hand over fist, but if you read through our reviews, there is at least somebody out there who really loves every design – and that’s what keeps us going in this crazy, crazy enterprise.
The Rigger’s Delight Nipple StretcherUS$122.00
The Rigger’s Delight HumblerUS$96.00
Breast Traps (Pair)US$94.00
Elephant Balls (Pair)US$85.00
The Snapper 2.0US$79.00 – US$85.00
The Penis Waffle IronUS$74.00
The Devil’s Lotus Nipple Clamps (Pair)US$57.00
Para-hell-ogram Nipple Clamps (Pair)US$48.00 – US$60.00
The Crouton Crusher (1 Piece)US$43.00
Lockable Nipple Clamps (Pair)US$38.00
The Original SnapperUS$36.00 – US$40.00
Meat Hammer Nipple Clamps (Pair)US$35.00
The Pussy TrapUS$34.00
The Devil’s Lotus Clit Clamp (1 Piece)US$34.00
Bad Princess Nipple Clamps (Pair)US$34.00
Bad Princess Labia ClampUS$33.00
Nipple Traps (Pair)US$24.00 – US$36.00
When you buy third-party products from us, the proceeds support the creation of new Terrible Toyshop products.
To make this operation more financially self sufficient, we sell other brands of BDSM-related sex toys. We curate a selection of safe, high-quality products that we know and love to complement our own designs and do our best to keep our prices competitive.
In our explorations of sex toy stores on the internet, we were super unimpressed with a lot of the options out there. There are giant big box retailer/distributors selling every crappy product that can turn a profit, shady drop-shipping stores, and a plethora of small retailers out to make a quick buck. There are, of course, some notable good citizens out there, but our main influences were the practices we want to avoid.
Unlike a lot of sex toy retail businesses, Terrible Toyshop’s original products attract a lot of organic traffic, so we don’t need to rely on high-pressure sales tactics or a massive marketing budget. Terrible Toyshop holds all third-party products in inventory and we ship all packages from a single location in Toronto.